My Fertility Story
Some of our regulars noticed that I’ve been MIA from our shopfront this week. I promise I haven’t disappeared on you all.
I have, however, been preparing for my surgery next week. Yep, just dropped that one in there didn’t I. As I frequently share with you all the #reallife day to day craziness of running the shop, online store, being a wife, being a mother – there’s been a lot to organise to allow me a week off to recover next week.
I’ve thought a great deal about how to approach my time off with you, our customers & followers. I could have disappeared and not mentioned it however I share so much of myself with you all. I share my joys, I share my passion, I share my family, I share my anxiety, I share the highs and lows with no shame, so why not share this? Just like mental health (which I’ve strongly advocated the importance of being open about in the past), fertility can be a taboo topic. One which affects every single female (good or bad) at some point in her life. An area which so many women have deep stories to tell. I heard a quote recently which rang so true “Ask a woman how many times she’s been pregnant and how many children she’s had. The answer will often be different”.
Seeing other women talk about struggles or losses has lifted a lid. By sharing our experiences both past and present we can help those going through something right now. They personally may not be ready to share but sometimes just knowing they are not alone is enough. So here I am. In my usual honest/bordering on over-sharing way. Here is my story.
Let’s just put this out there right now; my periods were never “normal”. They started two days after my 11th birthday and Mum & I spent years trying to get an answer.
When I was 14 or 15 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. When I was 16 I started seeing a gynaecologist by the name of Dr Susan Evans. She was amazing. The journey to diagnosis had been such a battle because of my age up until that point. However that all changed with her. She performed a laparoscopy and it was here I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. She removed the endo tissue and I was put on a new management plan regarding my PCOS.
This worked for a little while however a year later I was hospitalised in excruciating pain. Unfortunately I saw a doctor who completely disregarded my previous diagnoses and sent me home to take Panadol. I listened to my gut instinct and travelled three hours to see Susan for a second opinion. She agreed straight away that something wasn’t right and a few days later I was back on the operating table. I had more endometriosis removed as well as a burst cyst which had “glued” one of my ovaries to other organs. Hence the pain!
This surgery was a turning point. Again afterwards we came up with a new management plan for both conditions however this time, nothing worked. I spent two years trying multiple treatments both natural and medicinal. Some worked, some didn’t.
To quickly jump back in time in this story, I met my now-husband when I was 16. We had been through nearly this entire journey together. As both conditions progressed the doctors and specialists discussed potential fertility issues in the future. I am forever thankful for their honesty. They never scared us however they were completely honest about our situation.
As a couple (who were already 100% committed and living together) we had many conversations and both agreed that we would rather be parents young then wait five to ten years and potentially not be able to OR have it much more difficult and complicated. So we began trying! It wasn’t easy. In fact it took us nearly 18 months of trying. In that time we experienced a miscarriage and just as we were turning to fertility help, I fell pregnant with Flynn. Due to complications and scarring from both the Endometriosis and PCOS I had a very difficult nine months with a few scares along the way (another story for another time). Then, three weeks before my 21st birthday, our son Flynn was born.
One of the hardest things of being young parents was people making assumptions about what they perceived as our “unplanned” pregnancy. I truly believe you should never judge or comment on another person’s situation before knowing the whole story. Unknown to many, Michael & I made our commitment years ago when first deciding to try to become parents.
Fast forward to now and the three years since Flynn’s birth has seen my health deteriorate further. Our fertility and future chances at this stage are unknown, however being the positive people we are we choose to focus on the wonderful boy we have.
So there you have it. There is my story. Not one for sympathy just one to raise awareness. If you are struggling at the moment, I (and many) other women have also been there. If you are looking at someone else’s situation and judging – don’t. And for the love of god do not ask anyone “when are you having a baby?” or “time for another!”. You never know what they are dealing with behind closed doors.
Michael and I have always said that we are just thankful for the precious experience that is Flynn. There are many out there who don’t even get that. So if he is all we have then we are truly happy.